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Pet Diaries

December 12, 2008
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Pet Diary’s


8:00 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am – Oh Boy! Back in the car for a ride! My favorite!
11:30 am – Oh Boy! A treat! My favorite!
12:00 noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm – Oh Boy! The kids friends! My favorite!
5:00 pm – Oh Boy!  More dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:30 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
8:00 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite! Woof!


Day 283 Of My Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait. . .  it is only a matter of time…  heh heh, Meow!

One Comment
  1. December 20, 2008 6:46 pm

    Too funny. Thanks for the morning laugh.

    I miss my cats. Less oppressed captives, they more like ran the place. Were queens. I was little more than their serf, at their every beck and call. I miss my slavery.

    The best to you and this blog. It’s great.

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